from Ashram to Center

When I think of my time in Poona, I barely think of adults in my life at all. It's like the Charlie Brown cartoons, you know they are there, but you can't ever see them, and when you hear them, it's "mwah mwah mwah MWAH mwah...". For me, life was all about me and all about running wild with my friends and having a good time. My parents had a lot of gatherings at the house with other adults, but I barely remember any of the particular adults. Jason was there too, he had taken sannyas before he arrived in Poona and was now known as Madhav, but he had his own life at age 11 and I rarely had anything to do with him.

Bhagwan had gone "into silence" not long after we arrived in Poona. When previously he had given daily lectures in Buddha Hall, a large open auditorium surrounded by "far out" birds - they shouted a constant cry of "farOUT farOUT farOUT" -- he had decided for reasons unknown to me that he would no longer speak except to his most trusted advisors and would instead sit for silent "satsang". For me, this meant i didn't have to sit still for an hour during a lecture and could run amok at all times. For most adult sannyasins, it meant sit silently with eyes rolled back into heads, look divine and stricken with intense love and devotion and occasionally laugh or cry hysterically.

This time was short lived, though. Our forever in Poona lasted roughly six months and we were all informed that the master would be moving to the States to start a commune there. My mom and Madhav packed it up and moved to a temporary commune in California called Geetam. My dad and I went back to Long Island to deal with the last of our things and figure out the next move.

Bhagwan settled in what was know as the Big Muddy - overgrazed sheep farming land in Central Oregon. It was about 45 minutes drive from the nearest town - Antelope, OR population around 50 total, i think. My dad was summoned as one of the few people to be allowed to live at the Commune there - renamed Rajneeshpuram - I wasn't. I was sent to Geetam to live with my mom and brother. I was not happy about it.

There were about 10 kids in Geetam, none of whom I had known in Poona. I made friends quickly however, but I was not given the same freedoms I'd had in Poona. I could not come and go all day, I was made to attend school with the other children, and there were other frustrations as well. The worst agony was the new "lover" my mom took. He was a cold serious tall lanky Brit named Akul. At Geetam, the kids all lived together in a kids house and most adults lived in tents on platforms. I would often spend the night in my mom's tent only to wake up to them writhing around in a sleeping bag. I detested Akul. Each morning upon waking up, I would punch him in the nuts.

He took me pretty well in stride, now that I think about it. I mean, here he was dating this woman with two kids, one of whom was barely around - Madhav had discovered his sexuality and was getting it on with various Commune women - and I was a little brat trying desperately to get kicked out of Geetam so i could go live with my Daddy at the Ranch (the sannyasins all referred to Rajneeshpuram as "the Ranch"). He never raised his voice to me or even tried to get me to like him, really. He just took his daily punch and went on with the business of sleeping with my mom. Oh well.